RiseMagazine | Weekly

The Premier Lifestyle Magazine of Florida's Black Communities

[ LTAI | Jan:01 ]

Where Are The Manners?

by Margaret Esaw

What has happened to the simple necessities that were once the staple of the south?

Just recently, I took two children, ages nine and 12, to the store on a very hot Florida day and bought each of them an ice cold Icee. Much to my surprise, neither of them said “thank you!”. Then I found myself wondering why aren’t the Golden Rules being used by children today?

When we were children “thank you”, “please”, “yes sir”, “no sir”, “no, thank you”, “you’re welcome” and “excuse me” were drilled in our heads. We were quickly redirected if we forgot. I’ve heard it said that “children do what we do more so than what we say” so I began to pay more attention to the actions of the adults around me and I noticed that they too had forgotten the Golden Rules.

I was taught that as you enter a room you speak, when you awake in the morning you greet your family with “good morning”, and also, in the evening when someone returns home you should ask how their day was. These are but just a few of the Golden Rules that many of us were taught. I ask the question, “What examples are we setting? What are we teaching our children today?”

I had a conversation with a local daycare provider and I was quite surprised to learn that they are being instructed in college to stop children in daycare from saying that they are sorry when they bump into or hurt a peer while playing! The premise being that the children are too young to fully understand exactly why they are apologizing. Wow! Are they referring to the same little ones that can put the car keys in the ignition after watching you a few times?

Children do what you do. They may be poor listeners but, they’re great imitators! We have to model the behavior we want our children to use. As we were growing up, many of us were told that “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”. This saying still holds true today.

As an adult I can truly say that many doors have been opened in my life because I addressed someone with respect or took the time to hold the door for the next person. It is these small acts of kindness that have pulled on the heart strings of others and they have become blessings in my life.

No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care!

Sow seeds of kindness, respect, discipline, patience, thoughtfulness, empathy, compassion, meekness in your children’s life. Parents by giving back to your community you are role modeling for your children the act of volunteering. Teach them to actively seek out opportunities to perform small, random acts of kindness. Practice makes perfect. So, never allow a teachable moment to get away.

You are your child’s first and most important teacher. What lessons do you want your child to learn about human compassion? Making this world a better placed starts with each and every one of us and what we invest in ourselves, our children, and our community.

Start the conversation!

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